Love the skin your in!

I went on a girls night out recently, I bloody love a night with my girls – chance to let my hair down, drink silly amounts & maybe have a little dance depending on where the night takes us ! This last night out ended up with us in Popworld downing jaeger bombs! Yup S Club 7 eat your heart out !! Can’t beat cheesy music!

Anyway I’d not seen a few of these girls for a while & they all looked marvellous but a few comments started along the lines of ‘just feel so fat’ ‘had nothing to wear’ ‘needed to be comfy’ & it got me thinking – how often do you go out feeling comfortable & forget those quibbles ?! those small things that in the grand scheme of things do not matter!! That said I’m so guilty of it – trying on my whole wardrobe & deciding I look awful in all of it, having a slight meltdown & refusing to go out!! I’ve very near cancelled a night out because I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin ! I remember it well – A good friend of mine picked up the phone, told me to get a grip & get my arse to her house – which I did & I had the best night!! & looking back at photos of that night now, I was much slimmer than I am today & wore a rather daring outfit for me yet at the time I felt horrible!

So I guess the point of this is that we need to stop focusing on what we don’t like & try to love ourselves so that we feel comfortable in our own skin – so what if we’ve put on a bit of weight, we don’t have the right outfit, hate our arms, our teeth, our hair! No one is perfect and I’d be amazed if you find any woman who thinks they are – confidence is just about being comfortable in our own skin so smile and focus on 5 things that you do like about yourself! Next time your stuck in a rut, feeling a bit shit , have lost your ‘you’ take a deep breath, give yourself a talking too & focus on those 5 things! Then get your coat, go out & enjoy!!! Life is far too short ! 💖 Reach for the stars ladies!!! (Follow that mountain high …& reach da da da daaaaa)

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Forever on a diet!!

Like FOREVER but with age comes wisdom 🤷🏻‍♀️- maybe a tinsy bit !

I’m always struggling with my weight, never happy with how I look…size of my arse, mum tum & so on but I guess who is!

However I’ve learnt that life is too short & it’s important to feel good about yourself but not at the expense of enjoying life.

If I go on a diet then I literally eat everything in sight!!! (Is this normal ?! Just the mention of the word makes me eat!) If I’ve deprived myself of anything I end up bingeing like a mad woman which results in me feeling worse than I did before & ashamed of myself for being so shite at the diet thing!

So Instead I’ve got to a point in my life where I’ve decided to just be healthy and make conscious decisions… here’s how!

1. Home cooking – slimming world taught me how to cook plus being at home with the littles gives me the time to cook and explore! The kids love to help and muck in, Siennas fabulous at peeling! We make a lot of homemade soups, slow cooker dishes & simple dinners like spaghetti bolognaise, fish pie and casseroles – nothing fancy but easy simple and nutritious! (plus a few kiddie teas too – can’t beat fish fingers & beans)

2. Running 🏃‍♀️ ( ok it’s more like jogging) I started the Couchto5k last summer not really expecting too much as I’ve never been a runner – I couldn’t believe that in 6 weeks I learnt how to run for 1 minute to a whole 25 minutes! I’ve kept up with the running but not pushing myself as much as I should. If I don’t get out in the week it makes me grumpy – funny how life changes! The fresh air and that time on my own clearing my head has become important! Who knew ?!

3. More fruit & veg – my kids are very good at eating fruit and veg but I’ll happily reach for a biscuit over an apple any day so I’m consciously getting better at this! If my kids can so can I! I’ve started having smoothies which helps and I try to have one veggie night a week (much to hubbies disgust whose all meat meat & meat).

4. Alcohol – something which I don’t see the point in refusing unless I’m being really healthy! It helps me to unwind and relax once the kids are in bed and it’s not excessive – just a few glasses here and there but wine is so calorific. So If I’m being really good I drink gin instead of wine – May sound ridiculous but if I deprive myself I’ll just give in & drink far too much wine that my belly bloats, head hurts & skin shrivels! 😝

I guess I’m trying to achieve balance – looking after myself but still enjoying life & not obsessing over my weight & how big my arse looks today! I still want to be that size 8 toned young piece of arse & maybe one day I’ll get there but for now I’ve accepted where I am and I’m not spending time stressing over it

I’m still learning & I have good weeks & bad weeks where I can feel it piling on or I can look at a photo & think ‘you fat cow’ sort that shizzle out!

I envy those of you that can go on full on health mode – diet & exercise & come out looking beach perfection but that’s just not me!! & since having two kiddies my body is not the same either – I’m accepting that! It’s an ongoing battle & one that will never end BUT I’m learning to be better & do better all the time which is what counts right!

So don’t beat yourself up! Be kind to yourself but enjoy life too! Now pass me the wine 🤣 only joking…This weeks a gin week!

Downplaying Compliments

I’ve always done it & I see so many others do it when offered a compliment – whether it’s on your outfit or overall look….

Ooo I love your top – ah it’s just a cheapie from primark.

You look nice Babe – your joking I’ve not done my hair for days

& so on & so on !

I also noticed Emily Attack do it on the red carpet at the NTAs , when given a complement she responded with ‘oh well my tans ran in the rain’ ! Now no one would have noticed & it probably wasn’t noticeable anyway but she looked amazing! That was all that mattered!

So lets own it , we make an effort to get dressed and look our best why not accept it when others appreciate your effort!

Very recently (NYE in fact) a lovely friend of mine said ‘you look lovely’ ! I didn’t feel lovely as I’d resorted to leggings after eating everything in sight over the festive period….so of course I told her this, something along the lines of – ‘ah well I’m in leggings after all the Christmas binging, I can feel it piling on‘ & she scolded me ‘don’t do that – just say Thank you’ & quite right too! So what if I was in leggings, if she thought I looked nice then why can’t I accept that ! We are funny ole things aren’t we & I still do it to this day but I think we need to get better at being like ‘hell yeah- thanks’

So ladies stop apologising or down playing a compliment – simply say thank you & be grateful that you’ve got another woman supporting you ! (Or man but in my experience it’s usually women)

B@st@rd Bedtime

So I feel like I’ll be the only one feeling this & yes I have all the mum guilt for this one but bedtime really is a bastard for me….(& this blog is all about honesty & being frank about my life with the littlies – plus it’s also slightly therapeutic writing about it all – getting it off my chest & all that ) any whoo….

I have two (yes 2) night owls, they don’t like to go to bed – god help us when they are teenagers ! I’ve read every bastard piece of advice out there on bedtime routines, quiet time, blah blah blah!

We do have a routine but I question why I bother as 6 out of 7 nights it has no impact – we can still be going at this bedtime routine an hour later! My kids love splashing about in the bath, throwing water at each other (yes throwing water at each other – giggling their little heads off) but it seems to have the opposite effect it’s meant to of calming ! They come out of the bath wired & ready to bounce on the bed! By this point I’m done, I’m like I’ve been with you every minute of every hour and I’m tired now & need to go switch off!! But oh no ….we go from bath to bedroom, PJs, milk, book, lie down & sleep – oh I wish! Usually S kicks off if you leave the room, J wants you to sit with him whilst he falls asleep.

Now I know these moments and cuddles are precious but I’ve lost all patience by this point & have been known to lose my rag!! It’s bedtime go to sleep (curse under breath) finally all settle down peace at last & who should walk through the door (never quietly may I add) “Daddy” & so it all starts again! By this point the wine is being poured & Mama has given up! What a shite Mama she is! Ha!

Few hours later one of them is awake again…. shit bastard twat!

Can someone perfect the perfect routine for my two who do not want to sleep despite there overwhelming tiredness?!? What’s your bedtime routine? I’d love to know your tips, your bedtime stresses and all your wins with the littlies….

Building Confidence

I started posting outfit photos back in October last year, I can’t even remember what prompted it (I’ve got terrible baby brain- mine are toddlers now but by gosh information goes in one ear and out of the other , and I’m only getting worse with age – I don’t know what else to call it other than baby brain 🤷🏻‍♀️ )

I remember feeling silly and nervous posting my first outfit! But the main reason for me posting and still posting today was to build some confidence. I was in a style rut and as per my first blog, I’d lost a bit of me ‘Mummying’ around – I was regaining my style and wearing my wardrobe, sharing it for all to see (I mean who the hell am I ). Never in a million years did I think it would actually help me gain some confidence, even though that was the intention. I’ve gone from posing in my kitchen awkwardly… to getting photos whilst out and about (hubby just rolls his eyes at me) wearing my skirts around M&S and experimenting with full on colour – non of this would have happened Pre instagram fashion blogging “thiscomfymama” me !

But the most amazing part is that I’ve had friends and people through these little squares tell me that it’s inspired them! The thought that it’s given others confidence and helped them re think their wardrobe is just lovely and makes the whole thing worthwhile! So while I carry on self indulging in my wardrobe and outfits – I’m going to ask you to experiment and try the no jeans, just for one day! Go do your food shop in a dressed down skirt, skip to the park in a floaty number or something you wouldn’t normally wear! Just experiment and wear what makes you feel good! Don’t save things for ‘best’ – wear them! Wear your wardrobe and own it – build your own confidence and if you do, please share it with me & tag me so I can see and whoop you! 🙌

Look Good Feel Good

Making an Effort…

For me it really does make all the difference, just that extra bit of effort in getting ready can add that extra confidence to my day – If you look good you feel good, right!

There have so many occasions over the last 4 years where I’ve not had the energy or strength to be bothered, esp in those early sleepless night phases BUT I promise just making that little bit of effort will set you up for the day – . whether it’s doing your hair, (even just simply washing it & leaving it to dry- I remember some days where even washing my hair was a chore – I know I know 😱😬) throwing on a top that makes you feel nice instead of the usual comfies, putting some lippy on, doing your nails! However small just making your self feel good will impact how you see yourself- it works for me anyway but what do I know!! I used to go days with greasy mum buns & comfies!

Even now, even if we don’t have much planned for the day, I’m making an effort to wear something that feels nice – I’ve not gone fully glam yet, I’m still sticking to comfort BUT I’m definitely testing my ‘jeans jumper get up’ & trying out skirts, dresses & heels!! Check me – give it a try! Make that extra effort in the morning & see how it impacts your day & mood!!

Melis xXx 💗

Selfie Life

Don’t get me wrong I love a good selfie but it wasn’t till I started photographing outfits that I realised the past few years have become captured in selfie form. I mean I spend so much time working out what to wear, planning outfits for special occasions & outings yet end up with head shots only! Which makes it easy to forget what you wore or what you looked like neck downwards! (This might be the best way on certain occasions)

If your gonna throw on a fabulous outfit it needs to be captured in photo form doesn’t it! So I’m gonna try going back to old school & getting head to toe shots. I love using the FreePrints app for getting photos printed & making photo albums.

It’s nice to have memories to look back on & even better looking at all the old photos from years gone by so I put the challenge to you – how many photos of yourselves and loved ones have you got that isn’t a head shot. Go take those photos! Capture those outfits that bring memories of special occasions and happy trips – how else do you remember them!

Here’s an old photo from our trip to the Maldives, pre kids…casually walking along a beach with no one dangling off my legs in a maxi dress! One which I wish I’d kept. Vs our last summer holiday to Kefalonia, a family photo of our heads!! In my new fave maxi dress but you wouldn’t know that from just looking at the photos…..